“Hello Belinda. How are you doing this afternoon?”
“Oh Dr. Whyte, no need for pleasantries. Let’s get right into it. I have something I need to talk to you about today. Something out of the ordinary. But we both know that there is no ordinary.” She laughed nervously. “Tell me doctor,” she paused theatrically, “what do you think of the anus?” Dr. Whyte had grown accustomed to having strange conversations with Belinda, but they rarely entered the realm of sex.
“Well, I suppose I do not think much about the anus. It is an essential organ that stores excrement until it can be expelled. There’s not much more to it than that.”
“You see doctor, that is where you are wrong. The anus is a mysterious hieroglyph that hypnotizes and seduces. It’s a portal. A door that requires a special key to open it. I thought you would have a better understanding of the anus. Do they not discuss it in all these books you have lying around? What are you even studying if not the anus?”
“Belinda, why don’t you tell me what is on your mind?”
“Well, the other day I was staring at my friend's anus. At first I just gazed at it, and nothing. Then it caught my attention for some reason. Like it was pulling my eye into the center. I couldn’t stop myself. It relaxed me to stare at her pink anus. The tiny wrinkles that surround the anus make it look like a shining sun. But the dark center makes it look like a black hole. How can it look like both a sun, and a dead sun at the same time? I mean isn’t that amazing. There is so much beauty in the anus. It’s all I have been able to think about lately.”
“And have you felt this way before, about the anus?”
“No not that I can think of. I mean, sometimes I stare at mine in a mirror. I like winking it and seeing that I can control my anus. It makes me feel connected to my body. There are so few things in life that connect us to our bodies in the moment. Drugs and sex, maybe food.”
Belinda spent the rest of her appointment discussing her new found love for the anus. She talked so much that her mouth dried out and her lips began to hug the upper edges of her teeth. White foam formed in the corners of her mouth and when she wasn’t talking she was breathing heavily and grinding her teeth. At the end of the appointment, Dr. Whyte suggested that Belinda try not to become transfixed by an organ whose main goal was to push shit out of the body. Belinda found this to be unhelpful.